I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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