how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So much rum. So many feels.
Randomize
