6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
