KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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