Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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