come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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