Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
