Are we in a gay sports bar?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
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