i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
