they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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