What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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