Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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