When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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