im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
