The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
