Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
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I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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