he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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