Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
