I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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