I don't think brook has ever known best
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
