i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
