lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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