you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I would ride that face into the sunset
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
