I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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