He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
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i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
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wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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