false alarm. still invincible.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
