he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
