I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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