i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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