I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
