we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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