Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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