idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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