her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
