So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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