Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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