remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
