C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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