I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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