her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
