tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
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I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
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I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.