have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires