I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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