He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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