I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he fucked my hip out of place.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
