ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
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