so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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