On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
