you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
