I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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