i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
