dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
