I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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