My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
