Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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