I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
