Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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