forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
