So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
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Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
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When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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