I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
