you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
