fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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