Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
