he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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