do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She bit a glass in half.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
